FAUSTEIR

Isn’t it such a wondrous thing to be able to love?

I recently met somebody who showed me a type of love that honestly I thought would only exist in movies. It is so funny, because as embarrassing as it is to admit this, growing up all I really dreamt of was to be able to experience love in its purest form, I was buying the whatever dream Hollywood was selling, what can I say?

It was such a beautiful relationship too, we would spend so much time together, go on cute dates, cuddle in the back of the cafe, make out in secret out in public, stare deep into each other’s eyes and let that do all the talking.

Then I had to move out to Romania for a student exchange program, on the last day of me in my hometown, I was gifted a beautiful bracelet by this person. And I still wear it to this day, because of how much it reminds me of the pure joy and love I felt back then. After I moved to Romania, the things were still going pretty great, we were making it work really nicely. We’d be on video calls 24/7, watching movies, playing games, and it would feel like we didn’t have 2900 kilometers in between us.

I was so happy that I was proven wrong about not being capable of being loved, to this day I still think that relationship was the most magical thing that ever happened to me. The most unreal 4 months of my life. It was beautiful, so peaceful and gentle.

But unfortunately, as happy as I was about being proven that I am capable of being loved, I noticed that something was seriously emotionally wrong on my side of the things. I broke up our little heaven that we made out of so much love, as I noticed that despite loving this person to the point of being willing to kill for them, I couldn’t fall in love.

This song is to my only and forever Valentine who I couldn’t fall in love with.

Hope you forgive me someday.

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With lots and lots of love,

Fausteir.

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